Ah, the kids meltdowns. There’s nothing like a kid meltdown in public to suck the life out of fun family outing or to distract you from a productive errand running mission.

Let me paint you a little picture: you’re out shopping. You’re tired. Your three year old child is tired. You both just want to finish the shopping and get home asap. You’re at the counter, and almost out the door.

Your little angel has decided to demand something shiny and exciting (to them) on the display shelf next to the counter, or that ice cream outside the store. Something you have no intention of buying.

You say ‘no’.

Before you can say, ‘someone get me a valium sandwich!’ your precious one is writhing on the floor, screaming at full pelt. Everyone is looking at you.

I’m not sure why, since you’re not the one screaming.

I think it’s because they’re all waiting to see what you’re going to do about it. Or to wonder where the hell you went wrong to raise such an evil hellion.

If you’re having an especially bad run of luck, these same people will weigh in with useless advice. “Give the child a belting”, “Shut your little brat up”, or “Just buy it for them”.

Sadly, none of this is helping, since there’s a high chance you are trying to quickly come up with a plan of action yourself, and the strangers in the store who know what your child needs so much better than you do, are adding to your stress.

Are you nodding yet?

With a 5-year-old boy (strong willed too, I might add) in this house, I sure as hell am. I deal with this at the moment almost on daily basis. My son sometimes even attempt to hold his breath as part of the show.

I mean, seriously, who else had an idea to hold their breath as a way to voice his protest? A 5-year-old, apparently.

So now is a good time for me to post about this, whilst it’s fresh in my mind.

Are My Child’s Tantrums Normal?

First of all, rest assured, every kid has that meltdown moment. It’s part of normal child development. According to this publication, 87 percent of children between the ages one and four will have occasional tantrums and meltdowns. Phew! I often see other kids screaming and rolling on the floor, so I know my kids aren’t the only ones. But knowing that it happens to almost every kid is reassuring to know.

But how often kids tantrums are considered normal? Well, you can measure it based on the temper tantrum scale here. The best way to put it, if it occurs 1-2 times a week, no need to worry. But if it happens daily, there might be a cause of concern.
Now that we know it can happen at any time, how can we avoid the kids tantrums before it gets ugly? How can you calm a child before they unleash their inner Hulk? How do you make your days productive and family outings less stressful?

Let’s break down 5 things we can do and how to avoid the kids tantrums and meltdowns situation.

Keep To Routine

Kids thrive within the parameters of routine; they prefer predictability.

Kids also have a natural order to their internal time clock, which is something that should be paid attention to. Once you get into a predictable routine, work to stick to that routine to meet their needs.

It’s not to say you shouldn’t work to have adaptable kids, but by keeping certain things predictable, your kids will be able to roll with the rest of it.

If they wake and can depend on breakfast around the same time each day and they have their favorite lovies to nap with, then they will likely roll with the changes a bit better.

Explaining to you’re kids about what you’re going to do together for the day also prevents them from whining later.

Know Your Child’s Signals

Our children all have their personal thresholds when it comes to time out and about, and once they reach that threshold, all bets are off. In order to avoid kids meltdowns, learn to notice the signals when they have reached that point and start to back out before that time comes.

You can’t expect a toddler to maintain his enthusiasm at being wheeled around all day long doing errands. I learned the consequences several times, unfortunately.

When you start to see eye rubbing and a bit of whining occurring in addition to the normal hour of their nap time or bedtime, then you know it’s probably time to wrap up whatever you are doing and head home.

Unless, of course, you have that super laid back kid who will nap in their stroller just as long as they have a full tummy and their lovie; then be certain those needs are met and you’ll be able to continue on your way.

Meet Their Needs

Another simple way on how to avoid kids tantrums and meltdowns is to fulfill their basic needs. Make sure their tummies are full, they are well-rested and they are not sick before planning to be out.

Bring entertainment if you plan to be out for long periods of time to ensure they can be entertained as needed. Crayons, coloring books, lovies, small toys all work well on the go.

My poor bag is always full of things like little toys and a notebook with crayons that I can take out whenever the kids are bored. Just make sure to put the crayons inside a container to avoid the stains inside your bag!

Avoid Overstimulation

When you have young children, having too much going on around you on can be your enemy – especially when you are working towards nap or bedtime – so it’s wise to avoid over-stimulation.

Overstimulated children need quiet time, and a familiar, calm environment. How can we avoid kids’ tantrums if we’re surrounded with loud noises? When you see the signs, you can start to take them out from loud places and do a calming activity instead.

Go for a walk, talk to them calmly, or just let them quietly rest on your lap. It is really helpful if you know how much your child can take before they start to acting out.

Teach Your Kid To Express Their Feelings

It is equally important to teach your kids to use their words instead of behaviors to show how they feel. Children who understand their emotions are less likely to act out by using temper tantrums, aggression, and meltdown to express themselves.

You can start to teach basic feeling words such as happy, scared, angry, and sad. There are many ways to do this, but the easiest way is to point them out when you notice your kid is likely feeling a particular feeling. For example, say “You look really happy that we are going to watch that Disney movie” or “I see that you are mad when I tell you it’s time to finish playing”.

Later on, he also will start to learn more complex feelings like frustrated, excited, worried, disappointed, jealous, embarrassed, and nervous.
Hopefully, the next time he is unhappy about a certain situation, he will point that out to you. That way you can solve it together and avoid any meltdown from happening.

The Tantrum Tracker